Silent Meditation (Chup Sadhna) - 4
If anger comes be cautious from inside.See the anger has come,it is happening then anger won't hurt you.If you are worried then come to your conscious self.Worry is in the numb feelings and it is felt through conscious...you get attached with them...
Do you know who is clever driver? While driving who reduces the accelerator and also applies the clutch or break.Foolish driver is that....who keeps on increasing the accelerator and also applies breaks.In the same way you keep on attaching yourself with the numb and also want to be happy and want to escape from sins.Do not attach yourself with the numb.
Even if you donate the whole world,perform all the religious austerities,compile the material things of the world you are attached with the numb.And if you have only what is needed and want to get over with cheating and lustful life and pray to God by heart...that i am your part God.You are conscious,you are witness of my acts,you are knowledge,bliss and eternal.I am your son.Now take away my attachments with the world and body which is going to die.Give me your love and peace in you.Start praying....even if it is not from your heart but some day true prayer will happen and HE will hold your hand.
Attachments happen due to ego.Either do charitable work or commit sins attachments will be there.When you merge your ego into God then everything is auspicious and blissful.Ego doesn't go by attempt by not attempting it goes away.Then there will be no thoughts.(Bhagwat Gita 6.25)
and if thoughts come...then let them come,don't cooperate.Om.Flow of thoughts would break.there would be no thoughts Gita says.
Whatever good,bad,happiness and sadness occures without connection of nature....good and bad can't happen and nature is always changing and it forms from conscious and still attaching yourself with the numb and changing nature.This practice is quiet old,to cut down this practice new practice of thinking about God is required.We have gone far away from God so we have to come closer.When you are towards conscious then your millions of sins would go away.When you face towards your house then whether your house is thousands of miles away,and you close the opposite direction and face your car,motor or airplane towards your house you will surely reach.In the same way you face towards your conscious that...i have to meet God,i have to achieve eternal bliss.Just make this wish.
Girl after getting married considers her husband's home as her own home and her parents home as her brother's home.Same way conscious is my home,this body is of nature....only believe this.Is it tough to believe this?That girl also knows that this is my parents house not mine even though she was born and brought up there.Same way you beleive that this is nature's body.Mother,father give birth from their menstural and semen fluid.The body given to us is the mixture of the mother and father's fluid.What do you think?the mixture remains here and you are pure,invisible conscious.Neither mixture can be taken along nor can one stay in the mixture forever.
You are conscious pure and blissful by nature.Like a monkey with his closed fist gets trapped in a narrow vessel.Same way by believing this body to be self and mine and world to be true we get trapped.
As i heard that honor and dishonor should be beared so i used to go to those places where i get honored and dishonored.When i left home i carried some money which i earned running the shop with my brother,which i used for donations,eating,travelling and for ticket.Then when i reached Bapuji and lived in Disa,i still had some money left.I had marriage ring also which i never used to wear.At that time lot of poeple used to come amd keep fruits and other things which i never used to eat thinking that i do not eat from donations.Then i thought this "I" and don't eat from donations, what does this mean?"I" is still there.then i distributed all my belongings to the poor and thought now i will beg from tommarrow.
Next morning it was 9..10...11am how do i go and beg in disa.I am Kshtriya and it is not in my blood to beg had i been Brahman it would have worked now what to do?I have to eat something so go..go..go it was around 1.45pm.
I prepared myself took a Kamandal and left for begging.Son of a rich person and go for begging.I had the capacity to feed hundereds and thousands yet i had to take kamandal and beg.There was still little ego.It was between 1.30 and 2pm i went to the colony.Now don't know what was God's wish,others had finished their lunch.
From a lady's house smoke was coming.At that time woods were used for cooking...i went there.That lady was also moneyless like me, she must have borrowed flour for cooking it seemed like that.Her first chapati came on the stove....and there i was saying Narayan Hari.The lady was a sindhi and my body was also born in sindhi family but she didn't know i knew sindhi.The lady became furious and yelled at me " you healthy red like a tomato how do you know it is my first chapati and you are standing here and saying narayan hari, go ...go.Then i asked to myself how do you feel?
If you want to live like a hermit then see what is honor and dishonor.I went a little far...someone recognised me and said oh this is Bapu Leele Shahji's deciple and does meditation here.They brought many things for me.Next day when i went the whole colony prepared something for me.Someone prepared some dish someone dessert.I said i won't eat.My kamandal was such big that i used it was bathing eating so it was a big kamandal,i said i want a little but they gave me more and more.So my kamandal was full of 2 3 persons food.Then on my way back i saw some beggers were sitting so i offered the food to them saying first you eat lord then i will eat.I have seen this too.
